Trying to Get About Town and Metal Chickens

So I am thinking of changing the name of this blog because truth is, I don't really get out all that much.  For real.  You may think I do, but actually I don't.  And when I do get out, it is almost never by myself, which is exactly why I flew the coop this morning and headed down to the Lyndale Farmer's Market to check it out and grab a few things for dinner with some friends and their kids tonight.  So here's where this is going- I got lost.  So embarrassing.  All of a sudden I am driving downtown and find myself fighting with my own backseat driver self about which exit to take and before you know it I am on the West Bank of the U of M campus.  True, and very sad.

Luckily I like to be by myself and quite enjoy my own company, and truthfully during summertime, I miss me.  Other than being just slightly embarrassed in front of myself for my navigational error this morning, it was OK.  Sometimes I think it would be pretty funny to follow me when I'm out by myself because I do stuff that I don't normally do when I am with other people, and this is what scares the crap out of Mr. C.  And for good reason, I suppose.  He actually gets nervous when I head out into the world unchaperoned, for fear I will, God forbid, get lost.  Or back my car into something- check.  Or perhaps get a speeding ticket- check.  Possibly pull a u-turn in the middle of the road illegally.  Did that- this morning.  

Don't get me wrong, Mr. C is not possessive or controlling or anything of the sort, but he seriously thinks I am going to do some Bozo move when he's not around, and sadly, he's correct and today was no exception.  Here's the way it went down- I missed the farmers market exit, arguing with myself about the turn all while playing the music super loud and signing "Girl Got Back" by Sir-Mix-Alot (no joke it was actually on the radio today!) while driving under an overpass and having a sizable amount of rainwater runoff dump on my head through the sunroof.  I must be pretty funny out there in the world all on own.

I really don't know how to get anywhere because I really never drive (for a lot of different reasons, umm, like parking tickets and illegal u-turns) so when I do try to go somewhere alone, I end up going in circles and normally I would be totally pissed at myself but today it was OK.  I got to see the new inflated top on the Metrodome.  Very impressive.  I saw a very frightening billboard about bed bugs right smack in the middle of downtown- very weird.  I thoroughly enjoyed the shiny new parking meters where you have to remember the number of the spot where you parked and then go feed the ultra slick credit card meter- of course I didn't have any quarters on me so I would have gotten a ticket.  Very grateful.  And I must say, I was totally laughing with myself.  Not sure if it was leftover from last night- we went to Masu with some friends and it was rockin' and so were we in our 1980's stretch limo that the car company sent for us.  I don't know why but today the whole thing was crackin' me up. 

And when I finally reached the farmers market I saw this.

And this...

which is weird because my week seems like it has been all about over sized chickens. 

 Why, you ask?

  Because a friend sent me this and we have been hysterical about it all week.  You must read it.  You will pee your pants.  For sure.

And then I get this texted to me.

I am beginning to feel a little paranoid- like there is some sort of metal chicken conspiracy going on.  I think we need to get Jesse Ventura on this one. 

Anyway, it is one of my goals to improve my directional capabilities (and ok, my driving performance all together before my very nice insurance agent dumps my ass.  We actually got a letter on the matter.) and when I have more time on my hands this fall I plan to get reacquainted with greater Minneapolis (and maybe even St. Paul!) and step out of my small suburban bubble. 
I just hope Mr. C let's me go.
(that's a joke.)