Real Housewives (and Husbands) of Minneapolis?

So it's no secret how much I love my Housewives. 

 Atlanta, New York, Jersey, OC, Beverly Hills-they all bring something to the table, and it's mostly something crazzzzyyy!  There are a handful that are super cool and I would actually love to meet in person- Bethanny (hello $120 mil for SkinnyGirl!!), Caroline...okay, maybe only Bethanny, but it would be a total hoot to create a dinner party with the likes of Kim (Atlanta), Jill and Ramona (NYC), Taylor, Frasier's ex from Beverly Hills, Tamra from the OC, and the nasty Brit from DC might be a fun addition.  What a cast of characters!! 

 I'm thinking about this because last week I was informed that Minneapolis/ St. Paul Magazine wants to put together a Real Housewives of Minneapolis something or other.  Maybe an attempt to attract the attention of Bravo TV?  Not sure, but it's super fun to think about.

Would You ever want to be part of a series like this if it came to town? 

 Would you participate in the circus if it came to town?

 For me, surprising as it may sound, the answer is a ginormous left hand-on-the-hip-right-index-finger-shaking-in-the-air, "HELLLL NO!" ala Nene from Atlanta. 

Hell no. 

Never, never, never.

EVER. 

Even if you offered me a closet like Tory Burch's, my home decorated by Katie Ridder, tickets to all of Dave Matthews concerts, free meals at Tilia for a year....the answer would still be a stand-up and shake it in your face, "HELL NO!"  

 Why, you ask?  

It's simple.  None (or a very, very minute percentage) of them come out looking good, or even marginal for that matter.  They come out lookin' like crazytrain, need to hit The Betty, are you in it just for the money kinda wackjob creatures whose marriages need an unbelievable encounter, if you ask me. 

Many have gotten divorced (Vicki, Lu Ann, Camille, et al), more seem to file bankruptcy (Teresa, oh crazy Teresa.  Jacqueline, lots of OC chicks, and Slade.  Does he count?), others have substance issues (Ramona. Although I must say the jury is still out on this one- who doesn't love their Pinot Grigio?), and then there is the burning issue of the controlling husband. 

 Can you say Alexis?  Wow.

So I wouldn't want to be IN the show per se, but I would love to cast, direct, or produce any form  that might ever make it to our tiny corner of the country.  Rumor has it they are looking for a single girl, which means I gotta shout out,

"Hey MSPMAG, I've got a few good candidates in mind. 

Are you listening?" 

There's the hot, sexy, single, and oh so sassy hairdresser that would be absolutely PERFECT!  This gal would break hearts around town and let's just say she is damn fun, plus her Mama just happens to be one of The Best make-up artists in town.  I also know another super darling (and sexy) entrepreneur Mom of three who has a famous brother and a fantastic "pull yourself up from your bootstraps story after your total dickwad husband leaves you and he thinks you can't live without him" attitude.  This doesn't even begin to explain it but I am a little leery of slander so I will cut it off here.  But he does deserve to be called out as a total ass, so there.  'Nuff said. 

 Anyway, I would love to see women like this be featured for so many GOOD reasons, but I would never want them to be portrayed as anything less than they are- fantastic. 

 I would also love to cast some lovely Lake Minnetonka socialites, the downtown single heiress who knows and goes everywhere in town, the oh-so many young and glam Vikings wives who seem to be everywhere, and from what I hear are completely darling and fun.   I must say it would make for some good TV, even better fiction, and some serious talk About Town. 

Now most importantly, who would be Minneapolis' own Slade?